This is going to be one of my shortest posts. Reason being I want to touch an issue that has touched almost, if not, all of us. It is my take that at a certain point in our lives we have gone impossible lengths and heights, all in the name of love. This is all good when the love is attained and works out to the good because all that we would have striven for would be achieved.

The issue comes we the striving returns lemons, this is when the angelic lovers become self-centred monsters who would not flinch at hurting feelings to satisfy their ego. When this happens, most of us withdraw into shells, become disheveled, unkempt and recluse. We become a pale shadow of all the good that we stood for. We console ourselves by drinking the poison of bitterness and denial and even when we are easier apologising, we choose to make fools of ourselves by being adamant in self-righteousness.

At times when love is not requited we choose to bottle our hurts and emotional injuries. The problem with bottling issues is that bottling is never meant to be a permanent solution. This is the same premise that causes manufactures of bottled contents to put a BEST BEFORE DATE. The fact is, containing rage , storing hurt , harboring bitterness only leads to self implosion and we are left none the better.

There is no way we can love without first loving ourselves. There is no way we can appreciate another person’s cleanliness if we do not know the ritual and practice of taking a bath. It is the same with love, for the love to be appreciated when coming from another quarter, I believe it must first be cultivated and be practiced in oneself.

I am convinced that not so much love would be lost if we first loved ourselves first and knew the cost of love before attempting it on another being. No being that loves themselves will harm , injure , deny , abuse or put selves at risk etc, this comes as a realization that if I love myself I will fight for all the self-preservation I can attain.

When we love our selves we maintain our dignity, watch our step (and mouth) and strive for the best. So my argument will be that all that seek to love someone else must first love themselves so as to understand the implication of love.

As the sun rises tomorrow , only a soul that loves itself will know the cost and implication of reaching out and loving someone , otherwise it is all in vain.

By Phindela's Muses

Phindela’s Muses is the pen name of Nqobile Ncube. After much prodding i reluctantly waded into transferring my thoughts to the electronic notebook. I write as I see. I write as I feel. I write as I hear. I prod the deepest vivid image I can conjure and if at least one person derives some good from it then I am a happy man.

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