Cowards aren’t we ?

Cowards are said to be the yellow livered scamps that take flight at the slightest indication of fear or trouble. Their surmise is based on the understanding that if they flee trouble then trouble and its woes will give them a wide berth. How wrong.

In this life that I have lived on this earth I have learnt that running away from problems might defer their bite but like the proverbial demon, they always come back seven fold. I have learnt that postponing what I can do now is basically upping the price that I will eventually pay when I get the courage to do the avoided task.

Cowards are not the only people who pay the price for our cowardice. Even those we are supposed to reach out to , those we are supposed to free by apologising to , those that we are supposed to forgive etc., all suffer untold pain because we are cowards scared of taking the bold steps and make things right.

At times we run miles , run up serious bills , cause irreparable damage when all we could have done is be courageous enough to eat humble pie and apologise. Instead we build legal facades, stonewall, hedge ourselves and build ourselves into an imploding summit that will eventually bury us.

At times we prefer to talk about people than with the people. We are so cowardly that we will go ten miles to discuss the woes of a neighbour whose ails just need our shoulder to cry on and a prayer to sooth their pain. And we boldly attest to being brave!! Cowards aren’t we?

We watch relationships die, marriages die and all we do is talk and gossip about what we see instead of walking across and sharing the pain and providing answers. We are scared of sitting down our troubled brothers but will rack up bills talking them down to our transatlantic kin. Cowards aren’t we?

We watch our friends die and we can’t offer to take them to a test station but we will gladly stand up to offer an obituary and tearfully and accurately state all the stages of their demise. We watch kin burrow themselves into alcohol and drugs and we marvel at how clean we are.

In this life I have lived I have learnt that one that will not speak to me about their concerns is a coward. Life’s cowardry is drawn from the fear of facing ourselves. It is centered on the fear of rejection or repulse, but I rather be rejected and repulsed on the basis of a courageous truth than to be welcomed and adored for plastic and fake loyalty.

Cowardice and pretense do not only affect the actor but also the poor soul being misled. Show me a man bold enough to bell the cat and I will show you a man who goes to bed with a clearer conscience.

Cowards. Aren’t we??

Are you about to give up?

Everyone hits that patch.  The patch where all goes wrong and none seems willing to help you out, the patch where you fall off the wagon and it runs over you as you try to stagger up. Everyone goes through the catch 22 scenario and when it happens the easiest and most available decision seems to be to give up and die, we are quickened to the Job scenario where the wife, being tired of caring for a sore ridden and impoverished Job, tells him to curse God and die.

Everyone hits the dark painful spot. How you handle the pain determines whether you will beat the darkness or the patch will shroud you. So it is not in the darkness that we meet our demise but in the manner we handle the dark patches of our lives.

Before you give and keel over I urge you to consider the following:

Think of the woman who went into extended labour but did not give up. Think of the sweat rolling down her face and the spasms hitting her muscles. It would have been easier to give up and opt for a still-born but the woman persevered. When the midwives demanded that she push some more she summoned courage and strength that she never knew she had and was rewarded with a bloody bundle howling like there was no tomorrow. That was the woman who gave birth to you and me.

Think of the teacher who never gave up when you did not grasp the concept when the whole class had done. Think of what devastation you would have undergone when they left you behind and laughed derisively at you.

Think of the mentor who put up with your immaturity. I look back today and remember how taxing and cheeky I could be but my big brothers never wrote me off. I look back and see the sea of patience that they stretched to accommodate my mistakes and errors. At times these mistakes of mine were to cost them more than me but they never wrote me off.

Think of the decision maker who could have consigned you to the history bin but chose to allow you a second chance. I have had so many close shaves in my life that would have had me written off had someone somewhere not have exercised the option of granting me a second chance.

So before you give up and give up all your dreams I beg you to think of all those that never gave up on you to be where you are today. Where you stand today might not be where you want to be but I can assure you that you could be in a worse off position if those running with you could have given up on. So when the urge comes, think of the worst that you have already beaten and I can assure you it is better to keep running than sit on the track and let the stampede decimate you.

As the sun rises tomorrow, count your granted lifelines that you have been proffered and keep running, for to give up is to let down a lot of people who have already given a lot for you.



Semper fidelis

Semper fidelis

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Semper Fidelis is Latin for “Always Faithful”. Well known in the United States as the motto of the U.S. Marine Corps (and often shortened to Semper Fi in Marine contexts),

For every moment that you will want to throw in the towel, I beg that you pause for a moment and ask yourself this – what if my next lunge, step, thrust, jump etc will land me on dry ground? We have been told so many times that the darkest hour is just before dawn. Sounds so simple, sounds like you just close your eyes between 0300hrs and 0445hrs and all will be bliss when you open your sleep glazed eyes. Nothing could be further than the truth than this statement.

No joy comes without any sweat. Pleasure is attained after pain and labor (ask mothers, midwives and a few men who have been there when their children were born). All attainment is a result of effort. Failure to attain is a result of a shortfall in effort application or misdirected effort. But in my life I have discovered that something more than effort is need to carry yourself through. It is something that I found in the motto for the U. S. Marine Corps. Shortened to “Semper  fi”, this is a pledge to death, avowing a lifelong loyalty that will not be distracted by any means. It is a pledge of commitment and availability beyond the call of duty. It is the pledge of life time commitment. Semper fidelis – always faithful.

Now, in a man’s walk in the path of life there are so many winds that buffet themselves against his effort to move forward. I have seen a picture of a lone man caught by an opposing sand storm in the desert. Sand blasted , stung by the grain sands all over the face to the extent of small webbed bruises , all that kept the man going forward was the understanding that if he stopped he wouldn’t be able to start again and that if he stopped he would be toppled over and be buried by the howling sands within minutes. The pledge to keep going saved him. He kept faith in his body to have the ability to churn out more energy to defy the sand storms till he reached and oasis protected by palm grooves.

No feat can be achieved without one attaining fidelity with self. Truth starts with you being true to your self. Leadership starts with the way you conduct and manage your personal affairs. The path to real attainment starts with being honest to you. How many of us walk the earth today being unfaithful to our bodies? By enjoining yourself in an illicit liaison with another person you are simply defiling yourself and breaking the semper fi with your mind, body, soul and spirit. Before we talk of spouses, children, boyfriends, and girlfriends who become evident casualties I want to point out that the first casualty is you.

As we walk this life there is a need to be fully in touch with our selves. A person who knows who they are , what they stand for and what they want will rarely fall into scandal  and when done in, such  a person in touch with their being invokes the semper fi to rally all that is them to arise and redeem their being.

Today in a month where we commemorate and pledge to work hard to defeat the scourge of AIDS. In a month where we remember the silent women who will be receiving the seed of death from their spouses from the Diaspora. In a month where more men will receive more than love because of their suddenly fat wallets. In a month where innocent souls are going to be conceived in death laced orgasms, I ask that you be true to yourself. Walk the walk of fidelity, if defeated, walk the path of protection and when you recover re -connect with your sempe fi and be faithful first to yourself.

Remember being always faithful to your body includes a pledge to protect it from all vile and hurt. Here is to all the women who will brave the wrath   of their errant spouses to ask them to go for an HIV test or to use condoms. Here is to youths that will abstain and visit New Start before seeing the Marriage Officer. Here is to men who will disclose their statuses and not continue flooding the wombs of their innocent spouses with poisoned seed. Here is to women who will tell the truth about their life instead of taking innocent men into their bodies only to infuse them with poisonous intra Venus fluids.

Here is to a people that will stand and speak a Semper fidelis to themselves first before they walk out to face the world.

Semper fidelis.

Semper fi.

Always faithful.