From the time we thought we knew what love is (does anyone really know?) we grew to associate the colour red with the 14th day of February. As school going teens we would be awe-struck seeing the senior girls open red envelopes from secret admirers while the more brazen ones would walk around carrying snow-white teddy bears. In our innocent minds that is what love was all about and we would vow to love in the valentine manner when we grew. Little did we know!!
When our child hood sweethearts (who did not have one in their dreamy minds?) dropped out of school courtesy of pregnancy we did not want to blame it on Valentine. No, St Valentine was too sweet to do that! When fights broke out between newly marrieds in the hood we refused to blame St Valentines, he was too saintly to cause pain. Little did we know.
Puberty, wet dreams, soapies, Mills and Boons (and a bit of Pacesetters) set us on a wild rage about love. All we saw and thought was bliss, snow, kisses and happiness. Every 14th of February served to create more alluring images of this candy like love centred on red and white. We built images and visions of what it was like to be in love and we fell sick when we saw the girl of our infatuation walk with another boy at the basketball court.
Then we grew up , fell in love , saw red a number of times , cursed St Valentines , fell in love again and still found St Valentines every 14th of February ! After being through the rigmarole a number of times many of us have stopped living for the 14th of February and are still trying to come to terms with what had really hit them.
So after the wine has been drunk, the candles snuffed out and the lingerie put away, there still will linger the need to address the inherent issues. After the roses have wilted and the creditors come calling there still will be a need to handle and balance the emotional credit. After all the red rouge has washed away there will still remain love’s blemishes that St Valentine could not wash away.
After so much emotional haggling and blackmailing each other in the name of love we need to come to terms with the fact that it will take more than a day in a year to mend the hurts of the past, get to balance our difficulties, reach emotional compromises and find more reasons to love than to walk away.
So after the strain of the day, we will still need to balance the metres. We will still need to plumb further to understand love. We will still need to walk further to find true love and it will take more than the red bliss, the split wine, the sweeping gowns and tuxedos to do that. It will take more than valentine’s to know love. It will take a heart that beats every day to find the heart that beats in the same tune. It will take your heart, your time, your soul, your spirit and all your being to find it. It will take more than a day.
As the sun rises tomorrow, take a look and ask, has St Valentine not added more to our woes than joy in our quest for love??
By Phindela's Muses
Phindela’s Muses is the pen name of Nqobile Ncube. After much prodding i reluctantly waded into transferring my thoughts to the electronic notebook. I write as I see. I write as I feel. I write as I hear. I prod the deepest vivid image I can conjure and if at least one person derives some good from it then I am a happy man.