Souls in turmoil

Let me address men in this blog.

The last two weeks have been characterized by turmoil in many places.  I saw Tunisia erupt and currently the land of the Pharaohs is boiling. These are the boiling points that are right in our face in full view. Many reasons and arguments are being given for these eruptions but I will not dwell on them now.  It all seeks to prove my Science teacher right. He always said – ‘’ beyond the stretching point there is only one more point – the breaking point’’.

The same breaking point I have seen in spouses that continue to absorb pain and abuse up to a point when they realize that they have reached a point of diminishing returns. My Economics teacher taught that when you reach a point in production where adding more labor, capital, inputs etc yields no increase in production you would have reached a point of diminishing returns and all additions thereon would be of no positive effect except to increase overheads.

Guys, I will be the first to concede that no one is perfect and that we all make mistakes  but we are not meant to live in mistakes. I will be the first to admit that a relationship is an enterprise that requires you to be very accommodating and positively compromise but not jeopardize the good relations. I have been told, I have seen and I have learnt that to love someone means dying to self and living for the good and being of the other.

Sounds simple hey?

But if it were that simple why do I see invisible tears in so many women’s faces? I say invisible because the ingenious people who God created from our ribs can cleverly disguise pain and strain. They will adamantly deny that all is not well in paradise when the brothers query their husband’s late hours. They will defend their men folk in the face of brazen storms to the extent of wanting to severe relations with their biological kin. Why? They remotely hope and pray that their men folk would prove them right!!

So when you indulge in multiple relationships , stay out late, sleep out , fail to look after your family all you are doing is take the lady to a point beyond the stretching point. How many times do you expect to find outstretched arms when you walk into the house at 0500hrs reeking of alcohol and your zip stained with semen? I have seen good women turned into vixens and Jezebels by their partners. I have seen men who take the love of their spouses for granted only to reduced to nothing after losing them. I have seen wonderful children grow into bitter and vindictive adults because of men who failed to be men and lived like boys till they were old.

The answer to less turmoil lies in men being men! Men that will not cause pain, hurt, stress, strain and hatred, but men who will love, protect, care, adore and embrace.

As the sun rises to turmoil tomorrow, check over your shoulder and see if right from your bedroom to the street and the nation that  you are not being a catalyst for turmoil for there is a price to pay for such. Eventually.


‘I knew this would come. There comes that pain again.’

Solemn words.

Sad words.

But true words.

How often do we find ourselves saying this? How often have we overridden all the flashing signals to indulge ourselves only to start wailing when the reaper brings the bill? How often have we believed that God will drop all that is in His hands and come to see us through and it does not happen? Then we throw tantrums, curse and threaten to end our faith in God.

But whose fault is it? Whose fault is it that we disregarded the warning signs and dove straight into the mud hoping under the surface was sea blue? Whose fault was it that we believed that the past does not matter and that it will not crop up when you are at you happiest and when you would be trusting that you have finally turned the corner?

It is true, with God, the past when forgiven, is forgotten but I have learnt that humanity is still to learn to be like God. This is why as humans we find it easy to put away our discomfitures about someone when we need something from them but when we are done with them we suddenly remember they are not worth our shoes. It is true we overlook weaknesses, fault lines, defects and all sundry when it is in our advantage to do so but instantly cry foul when asked to give a pound of flesh for someone.

One thing I have learnt. I am human. Prone to err. Prone to be judged. Prone to repentance. And because I am human, I have a past, part of which I am not glad of but which is still my past. One thing I have learnt from my past is to never repeat the same mistake, walk with caution and never ignore the warning signals. Now that I have learnt the lesson (at a massive emotional cost) and now that I have turned the corner why am I still being judged with my past and not my present?

History never made a man. How he walks now tells what he is and the potential he has. What makes a man is how strong he is to face his past and walk on when it is easier to keel over and die. What makes us is how we use the past about other people. One wonders how many people we have deeply scarred by failing to be positive about their past when they have shown a zeal to turn the tide?

One sobering thought – how would you feel if it was you facing the music because of a past that you have left?


One difficult thing with God is that when He created the complex creature called a human He did not send the blueprint with them at birth. This would have made life a whole lot easier as all difficulties would have been solved by consulting the ‘accompanying manual’. Now that this is not possible, we are all faced a with a plethora of pain , death , stress , hatred , anger  and all negativity that turns us into wild animals and I always wonder – was this God’s honorable intention?

Obviously no.

It was not God’s intention that marital beds be a source of death

It was not God’s intention for the institution of marriage to be a Siberian exile camp to serve a life sentence.

It was not God’s intention that the children we bred grow to resent, hate and fight everything that we, as their parents, stand for.

It was not God’s intention that wedded bliss turns to bleeding malaise.

It was not God’s intention that hard work and determination were to be replaced with corruption and loose morals

So much of all that we have become was never meant to be by God.

But I realized something.

Our intentions and the energy we apply toward attaining them makes us who we are.  I have seen a lazy man intent on been rich slowly design his path to jail. I have seen unfaithful couples with selfish intents drive their marriages to the ground. I have seen self-serving authorities gain all their intents but lose the adoration of the people they lead. It all hinges on intentions.

This made me think.

How honorable are my intentions to the person next to me?

How honorable are my intentions to my employer?

How honorable are our intents to the people that we wake up next to everyday?

This makes me ask:

If we were all honorably honest with our intents would humanity be in this morass??

As the sun rises tomorrow, how honorable will be your intentions?