To all my friends that have walked the dreaded path of pain,

To all the spouses who have endured all forms of pain in trying to re-ignite love,

To everyone who has been conned, played, betrayed, insulted , stabbed, infected, poisoned, maligned in the quest to walk the path of openness, truth ,fidelity , honesty, love, commitment and dedication.

To all those wives who have to endure the poisonous, physical, selfish, thrusts of uncaring and whoring husbands,

To all those husbands who have worked their backs off toiling for women who drop their underwear at the wink of any man,

To the daughters in law who have to acquiesce with mothers in law from hell,

To all those women who stay for fear of losing their Mercedes Benz, the mansion and the trinkets,

To those who now love with the mind,

To those who fool themselves and say they are now there only for the children,

For all those who continue going back to where they are being gutted in the name of love,

To everybody that wallows in self-pity, cry bucketfuls of tears behind closed doors and emerge to toast the guests with perfectly lined mascara masks. To all those women who say ‘the next time he gives me another STD I am leaving’ or ‘the next time he hits me in front of the kids I will get a restraining order’.

To the men who endure spousal abuse in fear of being called sissies. To all that see everything going wrong but keep quiet.

To all these I have something to say.

No greater truth exists than for you to know that the answer to all your pains is within reach and possible. It is in your heart. In your heart lies the power to stand up for who you are – an image fearfully and wonderfully made by God. Turn the light of reality onto your heart and filter away all the shadows of fear, material loss, stigma, insults etc. Staying in the shadows condemns you to living with the shadows.

To all who are mentioned above: when the sun rises tomorrow, take a look at you, walk toward the sun and melt away the shadows!!

For what good is it for a man to gain the whole world and lose his soul?  Mark 8 v 36.


This is going to be my shortest post. It is dedicated to a breed of people that have kept the world on its axis (though largely unappreciated). This is to a people that we bang phones at, swear at, fight with, remove from Facebook connections and yet these are the people whose hand reaches out to pull you out of the deep muck.

This is to a people that fade away from your life when all is good and only appear just in time to save you from drowning.

A people that will give an arm and a leg to save your life.

A people that will walk miles to bring you blankets so that you do not freeze and yet they once had to make do with threadbare ones when your closets were overflowing with excess blankets.

These are people who will hug you even when the clothes you slept in will rub off their nightmare musk onto their suits. The people who will run their hands over your head in adoration even if it brings your dandruff freckles raining onto their satin shirts.

This is a people that will pull you from the lepers’ colony and help scrap the pus from your fermenting wounds. This is the people who will stand with you even when your spouse tells you to ‘curse God and die’. This breed will not hit you when you are down yet they will tell you to the face that you are mad when you are being insane and will slap you hard if it was the only way to bring you to your senses.

These are the people who will give you their pie even if it was their only meal for the day.

A people who will defy gravity, threats, divorce and sickness to be there for you.

This is in honor of friends.

Take a moment and ponder on the good that friends have brought into your life.

They are good friends.

Walk those shadows into the light.

A time of personal crisis is an epic in life that can make or destroy you. Big men have made mistakes at crucial moments of their crises and have sunk beyond oblivion. It is like hitting the accelerator hard when all you need is hit the brakes.

Some have sought the confidence and wisdom of friends only to be sunk by the Brutus swords. Some have sought to engage in new pursuits in a bid to forget only to suffer depressions when the aura of the cosmetic excitement fades away.

Some have sought to run but the crisis has continued to dog them like our shadows. They duck, jump, leap, roll and that is what we also do. Such are problems in a man’s life. Ask a man called Jonah. Daunted by the weight of the mandate given to him he fled to the opposite direction , got dogged by the trailing shadow , got swallowed by a fish, shadow en suite, and only on vanquishing the burden legitimately did he obtain rest.

When the past dogs you, do not run. When your mistakes trail you, do not scamper. When the chickens come to roost, do not perch on the flagpole and hope to avoid their painful beaks. When the tiger puppy grows into a menacing brooding habit that will cost your time and happiness, do not run away. The time will be ripe to turn around and face the demons.

After wallowing in stress and depression trying to deny my shadows I learnt a simple solution – you do not walk away from your problems, you do not seek false refuge in self-denial and you do not bury your head in the sand and leave the world to view your exposed exterior.  I learnt that the only way to handle the looming shadows that threaten to obliterate our lives is to turn around, walk into the light and the shadows will fade away. Light signifies truth, honesty, openness; democracy, morality and all our mothers raised us to be.

No shadow defies light. Light introspects deep into us and mirrors us so we know where we missed it.  So when habits, lies, deception, idleness, incompetence clutter your shadow and you are busy denying reality just do one thing: walk into the light, face your demons and the sun will rise tomorrow.