Now that Valentine day is over, the pretenses can fall off. The roses can wilt and rot and the sms messages be deleted. Those angry for being let down can now forgive. 14 February, for whatever it was worth, is come and gone.  I am tempted to rant and rave at the vanity of the event but I fear being lynched so I will hold my tongue.

But here goes. After all the pink and red illusions are gone, the blemish of pain, betrayal, mistrust, hatred, anger, disloyalty will still obtain. Men will still saunter in drunk and empty in the wee hours of the day. Women will cavort to coded face book posts and whispered kisses, this despite that the hangover of valentine has still yet to be belched out of our human system. The famed small house will still call the shots and homes will still be crumbling. Worse off all those that would have indulged in the valentine arrows would be broke and stressed.

I am all for the good that brings out those emotions that make us all fuzzy , warm and uhm but all that we need to cultivate love is something I believe is outside the periphery , scope and understanding of St Valentine.

To me love can only occur when we die to self and pledge to accept less for giving more. Love is a tree that needs to be watered, cultivated, fertilized and unfortunately PRUNED to blossom and the 14 February shortcuts are to me the equivalent of the famed GMO chickens that we all pretend to hate!!

To me love is an institution which can turn poisonous when wrongly handled but can be sweet when delicately handled. There is more labor to getting good love than the emptiness of shotgun mating and one night stands. I have seen many a man abandon his home and love for the bosom of a wily woman only to return tail between legs to the wife when the coals start burning in his chest.

To me love is a vocation. One that cannot be altered or bought by a bunch of roses in mid-February.

To many love will always be an illusion, a mirage never to be captured and all that many will try to do is console themselves with vain pursuits like dancing the nights away, canoodling with loose cannons, taking in diseases at a great price only to realize it too late that it was all vain pursuit and contributed nought but took all from love.

For those in love, the moment to cherish, value, adore and greatly appreciate is now. As the surely as the sun will rise tomorrow so must your confidence and assurance in your ability to love and be loved.

For those out of love ( for lack of a better word) there is no better starting point than to start by loving yourself first !!

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Valentine is just another excuse for retailers to make money. It is a commercial day and they prey on the minds of the gullible and force them to spend and spend in the name of love. Infact more love is lost during valentine than is gained because people fake it then, they are not their real self. I am a woman and love roses but Valentine is not for me, I am too real to succumb to such commercial crass.

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