DANCING WITH SHADOWS
After a hectic working week that also eats into three quarters of my Saturday I find I still have to drive 600+ kilometers nonstop to meet another deadline. After fighting hard for supplies and replenishments I hit the road and what strikes me is how many times those wheels will turn to eventually deliver me to my destination. I ponder on what could go wrong. The wheels could deflate, the engine might seize, the car might overheat etc. Surprisingly, I hit the ignition key and confidently steer onto the highway convincing myself that it won’t happen to me.
Even as I pass the burnt out skeletons of cars on the highway I convince myself that I will not fall victim. Even when my spine is heavily jarred by an unseen pothole and I have to swerve suicidally I remain adamant that death or injury are not my pot.
When the sun sets and the shadows creep toward the highway I flick my lights on, put the air con to low so that the heat does not overwhelm me. I shiver inwardly but grateful that I will not doze on the wheel. As I pass the kilometer pegs I have a fleeting image of them being a mounted guard of honor waiting for a small error to turn me into a deceased villain. Every kilometer peg that I pass increases my defiance to be another statistic. I resolutely soldier on until the’ beware of the dog’ sign flaps non chalantly on my gate and I know I am at home.
I realize that to get home I have danced with many shadows not of my making. I have danced with mechanical, structural, physical, human and mental shadows many of which could have swallowed me into oblivion but my resolute intent not to be spun into their web kept me going.
As I lay down to sleep I find myself laughing at myself at how I put so much trust onto things I have no control over and yet I am scared to dance with my own shadow. My shadow, a creation of light reflecting upon me!
So much faith goes into the odds against our survival and I wonder if I put all that faith to govern the way I live my life would I not be one of the most resolute, disciplined, faithful and determined people?
I sink to oblivion promising that with effect from tomorrow, I will not be scared to dance with my shadow ever again.