25 YEARS WITH CHRIST: THE DARK YEARS
When my marriage hit the rocks I lost the poster boy image if ever there had been such. The gloves were now off and the evil one was pulling no punches and I took in the sucker punches.
By the time the dissolution came to I was a very angry person, I railed at everyone and around everything. I refused counsel and had the nerve of blaming the Pastors for accelerating the demise by listening to one side of the story and supporting one party.
I was so angry that I felt justified to receive the church’s support because I was the one remitting tithes to the church! Some self righteousness indeed. The dissolution coincided with my redeployment to a place which by then had minimal representation of God, Chirundu. I sunk in deeper.
In Chirundu I fought and railed against God. In my ramblings I questioned God’s sincerity of his love to me. I denied that God could have loved me and let me sink and lose so much. (In the dissolution of the union i had to sign away my claim to the bulk of whatever assets had been accumulated) and I was an aggrieved and bitter person.
I back slid. Denied God’s love. Shut out God’s voice. Plumbed the lowest of moral levels and still found no peace.
I had wrong liaisons, went to wrong places and still found no peace. I refused counsel and shut down my conscience. I felt i was entitled to being aggrieved and like the biblical Job i felt I had a right of recourse being angry at God.
I got un-equally yoked, had liaisons with the dark world in the pursuit of peace and happiness but I reaped more pain, stress and depression.
I had an accident that almost took my life, spent more than two months away from work, tried to change occupations and everything seemed to get worse.
One day I woke up, left everything and went back to Chirundu, graciously, I still had my job. Two months later I got promoted and transferred to Mutare.
My walk back to Christ began.
I was the second prodigal son.
(To be continued)